Learning How to be Wrong

Some years ago, I heard a story about three-year-old Nolan running into his house to retrieve another ball.  He had to get another ball because Kurt, who was 47, "made a really BIG mistake," having tossed the ball into the neighbor's fenced yard, where it couldn't be...
How to Re-Energize Stalled Career Growth

How to Re-Energize Stalled Career Growth

Despite our fondest wishes, career progress isn’t always a straight, upward trajectory. For most of us, it looks more like the Colorado Plateaus, which the folks at Encyclopedia Brittanica (remember them?) describe as “dominated by high mountains … gashed by river...

The Hurry in Your Head

The Hurry in Your Head

A New York Times Op-Talk blog got me thinking about a common theme among my clients and friends: chronic overwhelm. The article focuses on breathing, reframing and working less as solutions, but in my experience, those can be helpful only after we’ve gone a bit...

Practical Emotional Intelligence: Mindful Interviewing

Practical Emotional Intelligence: Mindful Interviewing

For interviewers and candidates, mindful interviewing can help accurately assess the quality of the fit Long before I began making my living as an emotional intelligence coach, I was a “headhunter.” I taught candidates how to ace an interview, and to prepare to meet...

Identifying Your Greatest Gift(s)

Confused about your greatest gift(s)?  Here's an easy way to recognize them. Our friends Grant and Erin are in town with their 7-year-old son, G. As we visited the community overlook on a beautiful early-summer evening, we ran across a neighborhood couple, Greg and...

When “Not Today” is Better Than “Never”

In the course of conversation with a friend last night, the topic of family relationships came up. Listening intently, a nifty skill I picked up in coach training, I noticed that she used the word “never” to describe future interactions with her sister. “I’m so done....

House Fire Chronicles #2: In Case of Fire

What would you grab if your house was on fire? We’ve all played that game where we imagine that scenario and name the precious items we’d be devastated to lose: wedding pictures, grandma’s necklace, computer, precious artwork. The cat. So, what would I grab? I can...

Authentic Networking

I have attended many networking events over the years, but one stands out in my mind: a skin-crawling presentation--ironically on effective networking--during which the presenter quoted statistics on how many contacts it takes to be remembered by someone you’ve just...

Flotsam I’ll Jettison

This post was inspired by Susan, a brilliant attorney, sensitive and intuitive seeker, and dear friend. Susan, thanks for suggesting this topic. I suspect that most of us are aware of some legacy beliefs or behaviors we’d like to leave behind in the Old Year, and I...

What Are You Swallowing?

One of my beloved clients, a lovely, bright and talented thirty-something world-class MBA goddess, had a major insight. She realized that rather than speak a tender truth, something important to her that might hurt another person’s feelings, she often closed her mouth...

“But HE Pursued ME!”

Breakups are a messy and painful business. Unless both parties are unusually kind, generously truthful, and unattached to the ideal of ‘til-death-do-us-part, the storm of red-faced tears, anger, and self-pity we unleash during de-coupling can obliterate our ability to...

Giving Holiday Presence

For many of us, the winter holidays have changed from a time of pleasant relaxation, quiet celebration, humble gratitude and once-a-year-special treats into a carnival of frenzied activity, regret-filled gluttony, fretful spending and massive angst.  The...

Fertile Ground

In 2002, two years into our marriage, my husband and I decided the timing was right to have a child. I was 43, but looked and felt ten years younger. It didn’t occur to me that my body wouldn’t comply—after all, it still allowed me to snowboard, mountain bike, and...

How to Re-Energize Stalled Career Growth

How to Re-Energize Stalled Career Growth

Despite our fondest wishes, career progress isn’t always a straight, upward trajectory. For most of us, it looks more like the Colorado Plateaus, which the folks at Encyclopedia Brittanica (remember them?) describe as “dominated by high mountains … gashed by river...

The Hurry in Your Head

The Hurry in Your Head

A New York Times Op-Talk blog got me thinking about a common theme among my clients and friends: chronic overwhelm. The article focuses on breathing, reframing and working less as solutions, but in my experience, those can be helpful only after we’ve gone a bit...

Practical Emotional Intelligence: Mindful Interviewing

Practical Emotional Intelligence: Mindful Interviewing

For interviewers and candidates, mindful interviewing can help accurately assess the quality of the fit Long before I began making my living as an emotional intelligence coach, I was a “headhunter.” I taught candidates how to ace an interview, and to prepare to meet...

Identifying Your Greatest Gift(s)

Confused about your greatest gift(s)?  Here's an easy way to recognize them. Our friends Grant and Erin are in town with their 7-year-old son, G. As we visited the community overlook on a beautiful early-summer evening, we ran across a neighborhood couple, Greg and...

When “Not Today” is Better Than “Never”

In the course of conversation with a friend last night, the topic of family relationships came up. Listening intently, a nifty skill I picked up in coach training, I noticed that she used the word “never” to describe future interactions with her sister. “I’m so done....

House Fire Chronicles #2: In Case of Fire

What would you grab if your house was on fire? We’ve all played that game where we imagine that scenario and name the precious items we’d be devastated to lose: wedding pictures, grandma’s necklace, computer, precious artwork. The cat. So, what would I grab? I can...

Reading Tea Leaves: How to Solve Your Most Pressing Problem

I never quite understood exactly how those clever gypsies and turbaned fortunetellers interpreted tea leaves. It seemed so farfetched—what could possibly be told from a clump of wet leaves at the bottom of a teacup? I’ve changed my opinion about this after exploring...

Through My Own Lens

Still not fully awake, I glanced out the window while preparing my morning coffee. I love that liminal time—no longer asleep, not yet plagued by the ruminations, obsessions, and judgments of my conscious, squirrel-powered, highly critical mind.   Hot coffee was...

The It’s-No-Use Tabernacle Choir

I’ve been in a bit of a dark place these last few days, feeling as though I “should” be dispensing inspiration, because, well, it’s my job. When I get into these dark moods, which come and go like any other cycle of nature—the waxing and waning of the lunar cycle, the...

Authentic Networking

I have attended many networking events over the years, but one stands out in my mind: a skin-crawling presentation--ironically on effective networking--during which the presenter quoted statistics on how many contacts it takes to be remembered by someone you’ve just...

Blind Contours

In Sunday’s New York Times Magazine, Sam Anderson reflects on how letting go of control in his drawing led to delightful surprises and a rekindling of his love of doodling. He wanted to change the way he drew (he felt it was “cutesy and severely limited and…boring”),...

Things I Have Been Wrong About: #4,687

I have always thought that making a vision board is a great idea, and leads to ideas and inspiration and alchemical magic. In theory. I do recommend it as an exercise for my clients. But actually getting me to sit with scissors and glue and a stack of old Oprah...

What I Don’t Like About You, I Mean Me

What I Don’t Like About You, I Mean Me

That person you despise? I hate to be the one to tell you, but they are showing you the traits you least like about yourself. Here's how that works: -All humans have the capacity to behave in ways that all other humans behave--from the most honorable to the most...

Avoiding “Nightmare” Hires: A Case Study

Avoiding “Nightmare” Hires: A Case Study

How to Employ Emotional Intelligence to Build Your Team and Boost Your Career Have you noticed that those who hire the best talent tend to have the most successful careers? Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the key: understanding and practicing the EQ skills that support...

Why That New Year’s Resolution Didn’t Take. Hint: Because, Bacon.

Why That New Year’s Resolution Didn’t Take. Hint: Because, Bacon.

I’m ten days into the New Year, and already one of my well-meaning intentions is faltering. It’s not that I don’t want to make that change. I’ve realized I’m simply not emotionally ready yet. Changing or creating habits takes effort, but before we can even make the...

Holiday Cards: Yes or No?

Holiday Cards: Yes or No?

For many of us, the winter holidays have changed from a time of pleasant relaxation, quiet celebration, humble gratitude and once-a-year-special treats into a carnival of frenzied activity, regret-filled gluttony, fretful spending and massive angst. The transformation...

How to Re-Energize Stalled Career Growth

How to Re-Energize Stalled Career Growth

Despite our fondest wishes, career progress isn’t always a straight, upward trajectory. For most of us, it looks more like the Colorado Plateaus, which the folks at Encyclopedia Brittanica (remember them?) describe as “dominated by high mountains … gashed by river...

The Hurry in Your Head

The Hurry in Your Head

A New York Times Op-Talk blog got me thinking about a common theme among my clients and friends: chronic overwhelm. The article focuses on breathing, reframing and working less as solutions, but in my experience, those can be helpful only after we’ve gone a bit...

Identifying Your Greatest Gift(s)

Confused about your greatest gift(s)?  Here's an easy way to recognize them. Our friends Grant and Erin are in town with their 7-year-old son, G. As we visited the community overlook on a beautiful early-summer evening, we ran across a neighborhood couple, Greg and...

When “Not Today” is Better Than “Never”

In the course of conversation with a friend last night, the topic of family relationships came up. Listening intently, a nifty skill I picked up in coach training, I noticed that she used the word “never” to describe future interactions with her sister. “I’m so done....

House Fire Chronicles #2: In Case of Fire

What would you grab if your house was on fire? We’ve all played that game where we imagine that scenario and name the precious items we’d be devastated to lose: wedding pictures, grandma’s necklace, computer, precious artwork. The cat. So, what would I grab? I can...

Cultivating Albóndigas Practice: The Zen of Meatballs

Cultivating Albóndigas Practice: The Zen of Meatballs

Peace.” “Comfort.” “Liebe—love.” “Joy.” Our yoga instructor had asked each us to think of one word, in any language, that was our favorite. Asking a writer for a favorite word is the ultimate Sophie’s Choice. How can I favor one word over another? And to what end? Did...

House Fire Chronicles #1: What Needed to Burn

If you’ve ever engaged in a conversation with me, you’ve probably been subjected to my fondness for metaphor. We all think in metaphors—“this is like that”—in order to make complex, abstract concepts more concrete and easily understandable. We use metaphors several...

Reading Tea Leaves: How to Solve Your Most Pressing Problem

I never quite understood exactly how those clever gypsies and turbaned fortunetellers interpreted tea leaves. It seemed so farfetched—what could possibly be told from a clump of wet leaves at the bottom of a teacup? I’ve changed my opinion about this after exploring...

Through My Own Lens

Still not fully awake, I glanced out the window while preparing my morning coffee. I love that liminal time—no longer asleep, not yet plagued by the ruminations, obsessions, and judgments of my conscious, squirrel-powered, highly critical mind.   Hot coffee was...

The It’s-No-Use Tabernacle Choir

I’ve been in a bit of a dark place these last few days, feeling as though I “should” be dispensing inspiration, because, well, it’s my job. When I get into these dark moods, which come and go like any other cycle of nature—the waxing and waning of the lunar cycle, the...

Emotional Energy Part Two: Sowing What You Want To Reap

Once you’ve raised your awareness of what you feel, when you feel it, and where you feel it, you can take full responsibility for regulating the emotional energy you bring to the events of the day. You’ll have an opportunity to consider how you are contributing to a...

Emotional Energy Part One: Developing Emotional Self Awareness

In a previous post, I mentioned the importance of taking full responsibility for the emotional energy you bring into the room. Any room. Every room. Every day. But what does that mean, exactly, and how does one take responsibility for one’s emotional energy? Part of...

Foundational EQ Skills

In a previous post about authentic networking, I mentioned that there is a process by which we can become more grounded and clear about what we really want to do in the world. This is the key to giving others the opportunity to tell you whether or not they can help...

Authentic Networking

I have attended many networking events over the years, but one stands out in my mind: a skin-crawling presentation--ironically on effective networking--during which the presenter quoted statistics on how many contacts it takes to be remembered by someone you’ve just...

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