My life seems to have taken on a life of its own. And it’s actually kinda good. I don’t remember ever feeling this way before, which is also kinda good. I attribute it to a true release of attachment to outcome, which I’ve talked about before, and aspired to, but for the first time, I have witnessed the power of what it means to truly let go. This letting go proves to me a deep confidence in my own abilities and existence that give value to whatever gifts I have to offer.
“Gobsmacked!” comes to mind. Speechless, wordless. But given that this is a blog, there’s a certain expectation that I at least try to explain the inexplicable.
Two stories will illustrate what I mean.
1. Over the last several days, I’ve had several people call, inquiring about what coaching might do for them, as they considered whether or not to engage in coaching with me. One client had a few roadblocks that stood in her way of signing up–she’d hired people to help her with various things over the years, but had always ended up disappointed at best, and ripped off at worst. I understood her hesitancy and while I truly wanted to work with this extremely bright and motivated woman, I knew I had to let it be her decision and not let her hesitancy mean anything about me, my coaching, or my ability to make a living. I didn’t have to change my process to accomodate her fears, but rather “meet her where she was,” and allow our session to succeed, or fail, without any energy or attention to whether or not she became a client. As it turned out, since I wasn’t worried about her hiring me, or about getting any particular result, the session was amazing for both of us. Her string of giggling for the last few minutes of the call was the greatest reward EVER, especially considering the heavy burden she brought to the call.
She showed up fully, and I showed up fully. Not surprisingly, the magic showed up fully as well. I looked at the sky and cried after we hung up, filled with gratitude for what she had taught me.
2. I’ve been collaborating on a number of projects, and one of my collaborators was feeling fearful of the risk involved in creating something first, and getting paid for it later, if at all. Somehow, I was able to release my attachment to getting paid at all and (this surprised me and made me curious) offer my collaborator a set fee, regardless of any profit we might make on the project, which means that I will potentially come away with no money at all. How is it that I could go from fear of living under the overpass to giving away a substantial sum of money without feeling any fear at all?
These are enormous shifts for me. And I realize that my job is to help my clients realize similar shifts of their own. I also realize that there’s no way to explain these things in words–I’ve been hearing about them and writing about them, but there comes a moment when our essential, fully connected selves rise to the occasion in stunning, spectacular style. And that’s when we “get it.”
For all of my coaching and writing, the truth is: I can’t explain it. You’ll know it when you feel it. It will have a life of its own.